She had 17 positive replies. Of the top ten literary fiction titles published last year, nine had female authors. Is there any scientific evidence for women being biased against women? The answer is yes. Several experiments have shown it.
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One, by Yale researchers, sent job applications and CVs for a lab manager post to male and female science professors. And guess what? And they offered him a substantially higher salary. Mary Ann Sieghart asks where such discriminatory attitudes come from and what we can do about them.
So where does this bias come from? It comes from far back in our evolution, when we were learning to distinguish friend from foe. These heuristics, part of our reptilian brain, are born of experience. This overrides any natural bias women might have towards their own kind.
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Male and female words, and words representing work and family, flash up on your screen. The test then measures how quickly you manage to associate each category and how many mistakes you make. It told her that she may be biased too. The Gender Career Test that we both took is a measure of how powerful our heuristics are, says Banaji. So what can we do about it?
Why are even women biased against women?
Only it happens more often for some than others. Demons from my past still bother me today. I understand feeling attraction to someone other than your partner, and I understand what happens when women make it easy for men to cheat on their significant other.
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I get the demons off my head by reminding myself that other women having a crush on my partner is completely outside of his control. Instead of torturing myself with thoughts of what he might or might not do, I have to let his actions be up to him. A crush may be innocent, but not every action is pure. Some of these women have crushed on him way before we even met. Some will act on that attraction, some will not. Cheating is the breaking of an agreement. Ours are: if either of us even kisses someone else, that would be cheating. I trust my partner, and he trusts me. The trust between us comes from a combination of actions and words.
In short, the more we strengthen our bond as a couple, the more we trust each other.
Openly shedding light on the issue helps dissipate its shadow. When you talk about potential temptations with your partner, you make it less of a secret, dispelling the sense of mystery that surrounds it and eroding the temptation. The time needs to be right for that kind of talk. Even the ride to the strip club story took months to surface — but the important thing is that it did. Jealousy keeps a relationship interesting, but never let it turn poisonous. Everyone deals with jealousy, whether is their own or their partners, in a different way.
I personally find that jealousy is like good seasoning on a dish, it needs to be well-measured.
Well-measured jealousy makes you feel cared for and wanted. Not even close. Toxic jealousy attempts to control your behavior and your personal choices. Every promise we ever made to each other was voluntary.